GolfToons 43 Hogan's Ghost

There are times golf reminds me of a religion.

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Like most faiths, the golfer’s sabbath is usually a weekend event and the more devout congregate multiple times a week. The clubhouse is the church and the head pro the pastor. Even a trip to the sacred grounds of Augusta or St. Andrews could be likened to a pilgrimage to the origins of the golfing religion.

Our prophets are names like Tom Morris and Donald Ross. Our sainted include Bobby Jones, Seve Ballesteros, Payne Stewart and Arnold Palmer. The sport of golf is also vitally involved in charity, raising money to help fight disease and poverty.

But since our goal here is to make us laugh at some of the difficulties and absurdities of the game I leave you with an old joke.

A golfer comes home after a round dejected and tired. His wife says, “What’s the matter honey?”

“Oh we had a terrible thing happen on the course. Joe dropped dead from a heart attack in the middle of the round,” the husband says mournfully.

“That’s awful. What did you guys do?,” asked the wife.

“Swing. Drag Joe. Swing. Drag Joe. By the end of the round we we’re exhausted.”

GolfToons 42 - Short All Day

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One of the most maddening things in golf is coming up just short on a putt. Especially when your ball is tracking on a perfect line towards the hole but your own timidity denies you the ecstasy of holing the putt.

It seems that “coming up short” is a 24 hour bug that lasts about one full round of golf and is cured by consuming mass quantities of adult beverages post-golf followed by a fitful stupor of sleep. A full on black-out is the ideal remedy as it decays your memory and allows you to reset mentally for the next round.

As usual, the game of golf affords us life lessons, like taking stock of how blessed we are to just be playing the game.

I learned that particular lesson well when playing with my friend Craig, an elementary public school teacher who despite minor vertical challenges, stands taller than he appears. He became weary of my incessant complaints about coming up short all day and delivered the gem that inspired this toon. Leave it to a teacher to soothe the whining child with some thoughtful and comparative insight.

Thanks Craig!