Golf-Toons #44 - Centaur of the Fairway

Golf courses are typically designed to reward drives that find the center of the fairway. Ideally it affords the golfer with the optimum location from which to attack the green with their approach shot. Exclamations of “right down the pipe” or “split the fairway” are common refrains after “finding the middle.”

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In Greek mythology the Centaur was often depicted as a wild and lustful creature but there was an exception. Chiron was the handsome son of the god Cronus and a nymph. Unlike his wild Centaurian brethren he was faithfully married to a beautiful nymph and had 3 loving daughters. He was known for his wisdom, medical knowledge, sage advice and most notably his calm demeanor. Achilles, Ajax, Jason and Hercules sought his counsel during difficult times in their lives. He became a god when he gave his life to save Prometheus.

So the next time you stand over a tee shot faced with a tight fairway think of Chiron, who abandoned his wild ways and chose the strength of a calm demeanor and hit it “dead Centaur”!

Golf-Toons #43 Hogan's Ghost

There are times golf reminds me of a religion.

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Like most faiths, the golfer’s sabbath is usually a weekend event and the more devout congregate multiple times a week. The clubhouse is the church and the head pro the pastor. Even a trip to the sacred grounds of Augusta or St. Andrews could be likened to a pilgrimage to the origins of the golfing religion.

Our prophets are names like Tom Morris and Donald Ross. Our sainted include Bobby Jones, Seve Ballesteros, Payne Stewart and Arnold Palmer. The sport of golf is also vitally involved in charity, raising money to help fight disease and poverty.

But since our goal here is to make us laugh at some of the difficulties and absurdities of the game I leave you with an old joke.

A golfer comes home after a round dejected and tired. His wife says, “What’s the matter honey?”

“Oh we had a terrible thing happen on the course. Joe dropped dead from a heart attack in the middle of the round,” the husband says mournfully.

“That’s awful. What did you guys do?,” asked the wife.

“Swing. Drag Joe. Swing. Drag Joe. By the end of the round we we’re exhausted.”

Golf-Toons #41 - Astronomical Golf Course Design

The next ‘Space Race’ is well underway with SpaceX and Blue Origin taking on passengers very soon. With multitudes of space tourists venturing out of this world is it unreasonable to think that galactic golf would be soon to follow?

Given the physics of lunar gravity it would require either the longest golf courses in history or the heaviest of golf balls to deal with the challenges of the moon’s environment.

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Much like Sheep Ranch links in Oregon, the design would have to take advantage of the natural elements of the lunar landscape. Instead of shots having to carry water, shots would have to carry craters. Or maybe you turn the craters into the largest bunkers in the universe?

Manufacturers probably have secret lunar golf equipment programs as we speak and real estate developers are ready to unveil golf destinations like Apollo Landings, Lunar Links, or Crescent Moon Country Club.

But the biggest question is will we someday find astronaut Alan Shepard’s Titleist golf ball?